Forgiveness Synchronicity

November 10, 2009 by  
Filed under Heart Centered Living, New Posts


Forgive Everything.  What Have You Got to Lose?


I’ve been teaching the Heart Centered Living program for the last 4 weeks, and suddenly it seems really obvious that there is a lot of room for expanding the role of Forgiveness in my life.  Mostly, I am forgiving myself as the creator of all that I experience.  After all, what I experience is just a reflection of my inner world, so naturally, if there is something outside myself that I don’t particularly like, I forgive myself for it.

But it’s really much more subtle than this.

When I remember that whatever I experience is reflecting my inner “stuff” I start taking a good look at the inner stuff.

I’ve been reading “Forgive for Good,” by Dr. Fred Luskin.  Now, Dr. Luskin does not take a very spiritual approach to Forgiveness, as far as I can tell (I’m more than half-way through his book).   He doesn’t really get into the idea that whatever I experience reflects my inner world.  Still, I must say he knows quite a bit about Forgiveness.

Dr. Luskin talks about how we each create a “story” that we tell ourselves over and over again about our life.  If something happens that annoys us or makes us angry or pushes any of our buttons, we store up our emotions as a grievance and we tell ourselves a story about it. 

We may have a story that goes back to our childhood, or we may have a story that began yesterday when we discovered that we weren’t going to the raise or promotion we thought was our due.

Sometimes we tell the story to ourselves (inside our own head) and sometimes we tell the story to ourselves (to the people outside our physical bodies).  Dr. Luskin says that to truly forgive we have to change the story we are telling.


This is how we keep ourselves stuck in the past, stuck in pain and limitation.  We may have been mistreated, or maybe we were abused, or maybe abandoned or just disappointed.  Whatever the story, you probably know yours very well.  You have it memorized.  You can play it on your mental DVD machine whenever you like.

Want to know more about your story?  Write it down.  Just the simple act of writing down your story may be very revealing.  Is it a long story?  Is it about you or about what others have done (or not done) to/for you?  Do you blame others for what happened, or are you taking full responsibility for whatever happened?


This is the one to write to free us from our stuck places.   Make yourself the hero (or heroine) – you know – the one who “saves the day” – who makes it all come out “right.”   

Basically, if you c ould change your life story, how would you write it?


… consider identifying your story.  Notice what you tell yourself about yourself and your life.  What are your limiting beliefs about yourself?  How does your story reinforce those beliefs?  What would you have to change in your personal story to change those beliefs? 

Or – maybe it’s the other way around??  Maybe if you changed your limiting beliefs, your story would start to change?

So what do you have to lose?  The pain you’ve been holding onto.  The feeling of powerlessness to have joy and fulfillment in your life.  The blame you’ve been passing onto other imaginary others who seem to exist outside of you.

So what do you have to gain?  A feeling of peacefulness and satisfaction.  A send of your own power to take charge of your life.   A fun story to tell yourself about yourself!


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