The Truth About Receiving in My Life

November 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Nedda, New Posts

 

How Can I Open to Receive?

 

Last summer was a time of exploration for myself, a time of discovery.

I discovered that I was working very hard and enjoying it, but I was also exhausted and felt as though I could not keep up the pace.

I discovered that the exhaustion was from giving away too much of myself and receiving too little back.  The giving and receiving in my life was way out of balance.  It still feels out of balance to me.

I discovered that, central to my financial situation, was a set of beliefs that keep me from being open to receive the abundance that I keep asking the universe to send  me.

I discovered that I am giving away far too much for free.  I seem to have created a situation where many people, reflecting the pattern back to me, expect me to give more and more away in exchange for nothing at all.

I discovered that having an open heart is not enough because the moment someone gives me a gift – any gift – I feel compelled to give them something back in return.  Sometimes I completely  resist receiving what they have generously offered.  I try to talk them out of it and I’m good at this, so I usually succeed.  I can recall past situations in which I completely rejected their gifts, thus offending people whom I care deeply about and leaving them feeling rejected as well.

I discovered that I don’t know how to get out of this pattern.

I discovered that trying to create a new balance is essential to my experiencing HEALTH, JOY, and ABUNDANCE.

It is now 5 months later, and this issue is still looming large in my life.

I AM ASKING FOR HELP  from my I Am Presence and the rest of the “upstairs department,” although I fervently hope that I will not immediately reject help when it arrives, which is part of the same pattern.

I FORGIVE MYSELF for having this pattern and am saying the forgiveness prayer that I teach to others.

Last summer I thought that a professional colleague of mine had the answers to this, but it turned out that her approach felt plastic to me  – hard and artificial.  It sent me down a detour that I hoped would clear this issue, but which did not.  Her approach was not a heart-felt system, and that is essential for my spiritual goals to be achieved.

So I may not be back to “square 1” because I understand more now, but understanding is not sufficient to break through a block like this.  This is a very, very large old block.  It feels like a mountain.

I am open to receiving prayers for my success in taking back my personal power in this situation.   Thank you in advance for any prayers you may choose to send.

Namaste,
Nedda