Integrity Quotient – the New IQ.

October 9, 2014 by  
Filed under Age of Ascension, New Posts

“Integrity quotient?”  What’s that?



I believe that my Integrity Quotient is more important than my intelligence quotient.  After all, intelligence quotient is based on some standardized test that has little to do with living a meaningful or worthwhile life.

On the other hand, my Integrity Quotient has to do with how I treat myself and others.  That, to me, is meaningful and worthwhile, as that will influence my current life, my karma, and all other lifetimes that I live.

I propose we consider a new definition for the term IQ.

IQ = Integrity Quotient.


Integrity has to do with wholeness – integration – how you feel inside yourself.  When we feel whole, we behave differently than when we feel fractured, disconnected, alienated, or lost and confused.


Integrity, to me, is not about some arbitrary moral code.

It’s about you and me

feeling whole inside ourselves.

When what we say and what we do is in alignment with our feelings, we are creating integration – wholeness – inside ourselves.

To achieve this, we have to take charge of our feelings, own our feelings, and take 100% responsibility for what we feel and what we do about what we feel.

I’m not advocating having a tantrum because you’re angry.  I’m not talking about saying and doing mean things because you aren’t getting your way.  I’m also not talking about using fear as an excuse for treating others with disrespect.

Having a high integrity quotient comes from loving, respecting, and honoring yourself and others.  It doesn’t come from some external moral code.

You have a high IQ – a high “Integrity Quotient” – when you are

  • Loving yourself without judgment or limitation.
  • Loving yourself so much that you love the whole world, too.
  • Making commitments out of love and respect for others.
  • Following through on the commitments you make.
  • Making sure you communicate changes to all others involved when you have to cancel or rearrange a commitment,
  • Doing a job well just because it matters to you that you did it well, not because of what someone else will think or say or believe about you.
  • Speaking your truth from your heart – with kindness.
  • Treating all others with respect.
  • Doing what is right, even if it’s difficult.
  • Doing what is right, even when no one else is looking or paying attention.  After you, you’re looking and paying attention, right?.

I’m sure this isn’t an exhaustive list.

So – what would you say is your IQ – Integrity Quotient?

I haven’t figured out a way to measure it, but I sure know when it’s high and when it’s low.

Creating Peace Through Kindness

July 20, 2014 by  
Filed under Food for Thought, New Posts

May I be at peace.

bamboo_peacePeace… Peace…  Peace.

What does it take to create peace inside you?

What will it take to create peace in your world?

To find the answer to the second question, we must answer the first question, for the world we see is a reflection of whatever is inside us.

Kindness requires that we sometimes be willing to look at unpleasant things, to acknowledge that they exist in order that we can change them.  To be kind to ourselves, we must explore the conflicts, the wars, so to speak, that are going on inside ourselves.

Some years ago, someone suggested I take any article on the front page of any newspaper and substitute my name for all the other names, male and female, human and organization.  After all, if we are truly all One being, then I am everyone and everyone is me.  I suggest you try this and notice what you feel when you do it.

For me, it was a very uncomfortable experience.  After all, I don’t see myself as one who performs horrendous acts on a daily, hourly, even weekly or monthly basis.  Yet what I discovered from this experience is that I’m not at all separate from what’s going on in the world.  I may not want to deluge myself with the horrors that are taking place all over this planet, but it is important for me to know that I am not separate from them, either.

No war ever created a lasting peace.

It doesn’t matter who starts the war, or who is the “victor” – we are all diminished by war, even when our country and our family and our friends are not directly involved.

In the Harry Potter books, Harry learns that when you kill someone, it damages your soul.  Now, I don’t know for a fact that this is true, but it feels true to me.  So I suggest you just consider the possibility that it might be true.   And what if it is true?  What does that do to all our justifications around war?

Consider the training that every military puts soldiers through so that they will kill on command.  It programs them to think of the “enemy” as monsters.  It programs them not to feel or think, just to obey the command to kill – and not just the enemy, but anyone who might harbor the enemy, anyone at all, really – men, women, children, the old, the sick, the dying, the infirm.

It doesn’t matter what the justifications are – I’m not really talking about that.

I’m talking about what it does to a person inside when they are conditioned to kill and to be in harms way for extended periods of time.  Is it any wonder so many soldiers come home after a war and struggle to restore themselves to live a peaceful life?  They not only have the scars of battle (physical, mental, and emotional), but they have the conditioning they received still in place.  Parts of them still know that killing for any reason violates higher law and no assistance is offered to help those parts find peace.

Most of you reading this are not soldiers.  You are like me – people who have never fought in a war … unless you count the inner battles and struggles we put ourselves through on a daily basis just living life.  Is that your war?

And if you believe it is a war that you are living, a struggle for survival, for food, for home, for family, for religion, for freedom, for personal growth or whatever, how do you find “inner peace.”

Daily prayer and meditation are two ways of creating greater peace inside yourself.  It’s been shown over and over again that when meditation is done in groups in cities where there is a high crime and violence rate, the statistics of these acts drop during the weeks when the meditation is happening continuously.

So why don’t we use meditation to create a peaceful world?

Do we even want a peaceful world?  Well, DO WE?

Our government doesn’t.  The corporations don’t want it.  It’s all about money.  Government and corporations don’t care about the lives that are lost, damaged, and destroyed on all sides.

Well, if you care, then you must begin with yourself.

  • Turn off your cell phone.
  • Close your eyes right now, please.
  • Notice your breath going in and out, in and out.
  • Allow your in breath and out breath to slow with each inhalation and each exhalation.

After 2 minutes of watching your breath in this way, scan your body.

  • Do you notice tension anywhere?
  • Has your mind stopped chattering?
  • Are you checking the clock to see if you still have time to do this?
  • Are you thinking about all the things you need to do today?
  • Have you resisted texting someone?

Unless you mediate regularly, this simple demonstration may surprise you in some ways.  You might have noticed yourself feeling or thinking one or more of these messages:

  • I’m not comfortable sitting still.
  • I’m not willing to turn off my cell phone.
  • I have too much to do to spend time doing this.
  • My body is too tense or tight to do this.
  • I’m not feeling peaceful yet.

If the last message came up for you, I would ask you to consider that becoming peaceful in our frantic world does require that we make some new choices.  You get the make the choices for you.  No one else can make them.

Inner peace is there, inside you, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be found.  It takes effort, self-discipline, and commitment to peel away the layers of obfuscation until you reach that central core of peace inside you.  It can be done, but only if you choose to do it.

So begin with a simple prayer:

Let there be peace, and let it begin with me.

May I dwell in peace.

May all others dwell in peace.

Peace.  Peace.  Peace.

If you choose to say this simple prayer every day, several times each day, you will not only be treating yourself and others with kindness, but you may suddenly discover a lightness, a feeling of happiness or joy, a feeling of peacefulness begin to emerge.

I encourage you to begin now.  Why wait?  You can even text it!

Kindness and Struggle.

July 15, 2014 by  
Filed under New Posts

Why Do You Continue to Struggle?

Do you believe that life is a struggle?Do you believe that “life is a struggle?”

I can’t imagine that we would value our lives if they weren’t challenging, but most of the time we fail to appreciate that the value of a challenge may be to let go, allow, trust, and flow.

The value of a challenge may be to learn to let go of struggle, thus learning to appreciate all that we are, all that we already have, and all that we have the power to bring to ourselves without struggle.

Perhaps we would benefit from taking a look at our lives to understand why most of us feel we are struggling.

So if you feel like a lonely elephant crawling up a steep sand dune, sliding backward with each attempt to move upwards, you might at some point decide that it’s time to try another way.

You can begin to make new choices.

Start by making a list of what you’re struggling with.   The list will be uniquely yours, of course.

Here are some ideas for your list, but please make your own, more personal list.  Remember that your list and my list and your neighbors list will each be different, although there is likely to be some overlap.

And we all seem to be able to make this list quite easily, yes?  Give it a try!!

Some of the more common things that people struggle with today might be:

  • Having or keeping or finding a job.
  • Paying the mortgage (rent).
  • Having enough to eat every day.  (Yes, right here in the USA!)
  • Paying off debts (credit card; education; medical bills, and so forth).
  • Buying the latest and greatest new thing.
  • Keeping “up” with the neighbors.
  • Addictions (gambling, cigarettes, drugs – legal and illegal, co-dependent relationships, shopping, TV, video games, texting, Tweeting, and so forth).
  • Recovering from or learning to live with chronic physical, emotional, or mental challenges.
  • Restoring physical health and well-being.
  • Taking care of other family members.


If you are a bit more spiritually awakened, you might also list:

  • Loving myself and others without conditions.
  • Being kind to myself and others.
  • Finding inner peace.
  • Managing my emotions anger, fear, anxiety, and other dense emotional patterns.
  • Coping with people who reflect things about myself that I don’t like (i.e., people whom I find annoying).
  • Feeling all my feelings.
  • Feeling connected and supported.
  • Feeling grounded, i.e., connected to the Earth.


I’m sure you can make an even longer list than this, but these are a few jumping off points.  Take time to make as long a list as you possibly can.  You can even take a few days if you like.

After you make your list, ask yourself,

Do I believe that “struggle” will

resolve any of these things?

After asking this questions, write down the first answer that pops into your head.

Then ask yourself,

Has “struggle” permanently

resolved any of these things in the past?


After writing down your answer, ask your heart,

Heart, will “struggle” permanently

resolve any of these things

for me in the future?

What does your heart tell you?

When we are being kind to ourselves, we are being honest and filled with integrity.  If you’re answering honestly, you might have received answers that are difficult to hear – that struggling, while it may sometimes be useful and save your life, most of the time will not bring resolution to anything on your current list.

Is than an unexpected answer?  If so, you might be feeling some fear right now, so take a deep breath or two before continuing.

Please understand that when you stop struggling, it doesn’t mean you are giving up.


When we struggle, we are

  • out of alignment with our Soul Plan;
  • off our personal path;
  • confused and exhausted;
  • disconnected from our True Self.


When we stop struggling, we make it possible to reconfigure ourselves and our lives.

  • We can gently allow ourselves to flow back into alignment.
  • We suddenly can see our personal path again.
  • Our confusion fades away as we recover from the exhaustion of struggling.
  • Our personal connection to our higher guidance returns.


  • We become more open to receiving the gifts that are just waiting there for us to stop struggling and notice them.
  • In this way, we discover the riches and beauty that are already waiting for us.

Giving up the endless struggle is an act of kindness to yourself.  It’s a matter of changing your beliefs, your personal perspective.

Look at the rewards!

As you align with your Soul Path and receive clarity and higher guidance, you will more easily know what is best to do in any given situation.  You will feel more supported, be more open, feel more at ease, and be more at peace.  You will start receiving more love, more connection, more ease at every level of your being, including the physical.

I invite you to become kinder to yourself by choosing a new way to be.

Are you ready to stop struggling and to be kind to yourself?

Kindness and Self-Love.

July 7, 2014 by  
Filed under Heart Centered Living, New Posts


Do You Expect Others to Love You

More Than You Love Yourself?

loving partners

There is a well-known poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning that begins,

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach….

Can you imagine what it is like to be loved this way?

Can you imagine what it is like to love yourself this way?

To love yourself completely, without judgment, is a practice, and it’s time for each of us to begin living not only from our hearts, but from a space of pure love, the kind that has no limitations, no boundaries, no judgment.

Are you ready?

Here’s one way to get started.

I, [insert name], hereby pledge myself to self-love.

As of today, [insert date], I promise myself that I will daily practice self-love in these ways.

  1. I will tell myself, “I love you” 3 times while looking into my eyes and thinking of someone else I love without limitation.  (This can be a human, animal, or divine being.)
  2. I will think of something I truly like and appreciate about myself and will write it down and post it on a wall.  (Use post-it notes, so that each day you can add a new one.)
  3. I will forgive myself for something that I don’t like about myself and post it on a forgiveness chart.
  4. I will be kind to myself by catching myself each time I have a negative thought or make a negative remark in my head or out loud, and instead hugging myself and telling myself that I love myself just as I am.

Signed:  ____________________

It’s OK to make mistakes. 

Do you believe that?

How else will you learn?

So if you take this pledge and then “forget” to do it,

there’s no need to get all in a tizzy and down on yourself.

Just begin again!

The world has not ended, and you have not proven how terrible you are.

What a perfect opportunity to learn forgiveness!!

Please share your thoughts by posting them in the comments portion of this blog.

Practice Kindness.

July 6, 2014 by  
Filed under Heart Centered Living, New Posts

Kindness Is Strength.

free hug

For those of us who spend time and energy sending ourselves all kinds of negative messages about ourselves, I am about to issue a challenge.

The challenge is this:

For the next 2 weeks,

do something KIND for yourself every day,

namely . . .

spend 10-15 minutes remembering

acts of kindness, goodness, and caring

that you’ve done in the past.

If nothing comes to mind, remember

a quality you have that you like about yourself

or an ability you have that you appreciate.

If still nothing comes to mind, reflect on

the rightness and beauty of your

desire for happiness.


Now this may seem easy.  It certainly ought to be easy.  BUT . . .

We’ve been so programmed to think that if there is something we admire about ourselves, that’s a sign of selfishness.  My reply to this is:


One of the biggest problems each of us has right now is lack of self love.  If you don’t love yourself, you can’t fully love another.

So this exercise is a great way to discover things within yourself that you can easily love.

It’s also a great way to shift your focused to the positive, isn’t it?

One way to do this exercise is to do it from your heart space, thus quieting the mental chatter.

Sharon Salzberg wrote in Loving-Kindness:  The Revolutionary Art of Happiness,

Anger generated within ourselves or within others can be met with love; the love is not ruined by the anger…. The loving mind can observe joy and peace in one moment, and then grief in the next moment, and it will not be shattered by the change.  A mind filled with love can be likened to the sky with a variety of clouds moving through it — some light and fluffy, others ominous and threatening.  No matter what the situation, the sky is not affected by the clouds.  It is free.

We are each free to focus our awareness wherever we choose.  We can choose to focus on love and kindness, or on anger and fear.  When we take the time to focus on love and on being kind to ourselves and others, the anger and fear within us starts to dissolve and fade.

Nothing outside of you can prevent love, as long as you do not give away your power to others.  When you make someone else responsible for how you feel and how you behave, you give away your power to choose.

When someone says, “What made you angry?” they are implying that things outside of us make us feel a particular way.  That’s not really the way things work. We can choose to be afraid or we can choose to be angry because of what someone else does or doesn’t do.  — OR — We can choose to stay in the love and just allow their poor behavior to flow past us – to not allow it to affect us at all.  It’s our personal choice.

We can think, “Just because you have bad manners doesn’t mean you are a bad person.  I love you anyway.”

— OR —

We can think, “Just because you have bad manners doesn’t mean I have to have bad manners, too.”

— OR —

We can think, “This person with bad manners is badly in need of love.  I will send them some.”

Then, we can open our hearts and send them love.

Learning to do this on a regular basis requires practice.

So if you decide to take this challenge, please add the wonderful things you discover about yourself as a comment to this blog post.




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