Unenforceable Rules

November 11, 2009 by  
Filed under Food for Thought, New Posts


To Create a Win/Win, Change the Rules of the Game.


In the original Star Trek, there is a test that all cadets at Star Fleet Academy must take before they can become a ship’s captain.  The test is based on a situation which is set up so that the cadet, acting as Captain, cannot win.  The test is designed to challenge the cadet so that s/he can be evaluated as to how they will handle a no-win situation.

James T. Kirk, of course, finds a way around the situation.  He changes the rules.  (I believe he alters the computer program against which he is “playing” the game/test.)  As a result, he beats the computer and saves the ship and the situation.  This is one of the reasons Capt. Kirk is so successful.  He doesn’t feel limited by the rules someone else has made.

Each of us in our lives are faced with numerous situations where we are expected to “play by the rules.”  In fact, most of us have a set of rules in our head about what life is “supposed” to be like.  When life doesn’t follow our rules, we become upset, resentful, angry, fearful, and/or full of animosity.  When our rules don’t make sense because they are unrealistic and unenforceable, we usually get stuck in these unpleasant feelings.  Then we construct a story about the situation and tell ourselves the story over and over again.

When I was a child, my mother had a rule.  The rule was only for her children, because she, herself, did not follow it.  The rule was, “Never tell a lie.”  She also said to me and both my sisters, “If you lie to me, I’ll never trust you again.” 

I was the eldest child, and when I was given this rule, I swallowed it whole.  Thus, I was terrified to ever lie to my Mother. 

My youngest sister (4 years younger) observed that, when she lied to my mother, my mother only figured out that she was lying 50% of the time.  From her perspective, this meant that 50% of the time she actually got away with it.  To her these were great odds and she often lied.  I remember my mother once saying she couldn’t understand why my sister lied so much.  (Of course, I didn’t learn about any of this until we were both adults.  What an eye-opener!!)

Of course, my mother lied all the time – to her family (mother, sisters and brothers), and probably to herself, as well.  I would observe her screaming at one of us, and then the phone would ring, she’d pick up the receiver, and her entire voice and demeanor would instantly change.  I couldn’t figure out how she did this.  My internal reaction was that she was an adept liar, changing her mood instantly because she didn’t want anyone to know how much she screamed at her children.  In addition, she would ask all of us to lie to our relatives about things we did that she knew they wouldn’t approve.  Still, I was unable to reconcile all these inconsistencies with my fear that she would stop trusting me (and loving me) if she caught me in a lie.

I never learned to lie very well.  To this day, I really don’t know how to lie effectively and it poses some problems for me in life.  You might say I have a few “rules” about lying in my head.

RULE #1:  I must always tell the truth and when I do, people will love me for it.

RULE #2:  Others must always tell me the truth or I can’t trust them.

These two rules are bound to get me into trouble because they are unenforceable.

Rule #1 is unenforceable because there are times when people are not prepared to hear “the truth” as I personally see it.  Therefore, when I tell them my “truth” about their situation, they become angry with me.  Then I have to decide how to respond to their anger.  Do I want to argue about the issue (whether I am correct or not)?  Do I want to take offense because they don’t see the “light” regarding my truth?  (Is it important for me to be RIGHT or is it more important for me to be POLITE?) 

Let’s face it, if someone isn’t ready to hear something, it’s a complete waste of time and energy to force it upon them, and the result is that you don’t achieve whatever goal you had in the first place (unless you were just looking for an argument).

Rule #2 is also unenforceable.  I certainly cannot make someone tell me the truth if the person doesn’t want to do so.  Because of this rule, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I stop trusting the person.  If they continue to lie, then I start labeling, “this person must be a compulsive liar.”

It occurred to me one day that there are different versions of truth depending on people’s points of view.  What a challenging thought!!  Perhaps there is no “truth” at all.  Perhaps there are just different perspectives.

Learning to understand that someone else’s perspective is as valid for them as my perspective is for me has been an important lesson.  If their perspective is equally valid, then perhaps they aren’t lying at all?  Or, perhaps it really is ok to lie?  What is a lie anyway if there are so many different perspectives (one per person, at the very least)?

Then, one day, I was told,

“It is more important to be KIND than to be RIGHT.”

This is a mind-stopper for me.  This was not what I had lived as a child.  As a child, being “right” was all important to my parents. 

Now, as an adult, I am taking a different view of this.  In fact, it’s a new rule:

NEW RULE #1:  I can choose when to tell the truth and when not to tell it, and it’s OK for me to do so when I come from a place of kindness and love.

NEW RULE #2:  Others are entitled to make their own rules about telling the truth and telling lies.

NEW RULE #3:  Since it is possible to make mistakes in deciding when to tell the truth and when to lie, I give myself and others permission to make mistakes and I give myself permission to forgive myself and others when we make them.

So I invite you all to start asking yourself a few questions.

  1. What unenforceable rules are you trying to live with in your life?
  2. How are these rules affecting you?  Are they bringing you joy or are they keeping you stuck in some other, unpleasant emotion?
  3. How would you begin to rewrite your rules so you can have more joy in your life?


Dimensions, Frequencies, and Ascension

November 30, 2008 by  
Filed under Age of Ascension

Lots of times, when clients call about an animal that has passed on (i.e., died) they want to speak to the spirit and understand where the spirit is dwelling.    While the animal may be able to describe what the place they are in looks like, this doesn’t always help the person understand where the animal spirit is dwelling in relationship to where the client is dwelling.

When a spirit leaves a physical body, the spirit is no longer visible because human physical vision is limited to a very narrow band called the visible light band.  We can see a narrow range of colors, but once the frequency goes lower than infra-red or higher than ultra-violet, human eyes cannot receive the frequency.  This is because the electromagnetic spectrum is gigantic compared to the narrow band of “light” that we can see.  The human eye is practically blind, as it can only respond to a very tiny range of energy, approximately 0.005% of what is “out there.”

What might be all around us that we cannot see?

In one of the original Star Trek programs, the Enterprise visits a planet in response to a call for help, but no one seems to have survived.  The landing party can “see” no people.  Occasionally, they hear a buzzing, like an insect sound, but they see no one and no insects, either.

Once back on the starship, Capt. Kirk and company begin having some odd experiences.  Capt. Kirk disappears right before his crews’ eyes.  From Kirk’s perspective, his entire crew seems to go into slow motion movement, eventually moving so slowly that he cannot see them moving at all.  And as soon as Kirk is moving (vibrating) fast enough, he suddenly can see the aliens who have come onto the Enterprise from the planet below.

This story vividly demonstrates that there can be, and probably are, beings around us that vibrate at frequencies that we cannot detect.  Even our current technological instruments, just like those on the Enterprise, may not be able to detect them. 

Did you know that scientists now surmise that 95% of the matter and energy in our universe may be what they are calling “dark matter and dark energy”.  They are not detecting this matter/energy, but they believe that it exists because only its presence would explain other phenomenon that scientists are observing.  Scientists call it “dark” because it is outside the light spectrum that we currently can detect and therefore it is only “dark” because it is invisible to us and our instruments.  (“Dark” does not mean bad or evil in this instance – just invisible.)

So consider – when someone’s spirit leaves the physical realm, this is a frequency change.  It is not a change in physical space.  Of course, just as we can go places with our physical body, the spirit can go places without the physical body.  Many people have written about their “out of body” experiences, which take place at a frequency range very near our own.

Now, how does this all relate to Ascension?

In the past, beings who have been in the physical body and who were raising the vibrational frequency of their consciousness had to move out of the physical body because that vehical was not able to carry the higher frequency vibration.  Thus, in the past, we have been told that some great master or other died and ascended.

Today, the ascension process is about raising the vibrational frequency of Planet Earth and all her children, humanity included.  Our physical bodies are vibrating faster and faster as our consciousness is also accelerating.  As physical bodies and our consciousess accelerate, our memories, our mental and emotional patterns, and our habits of behavior that were appropriate at lower frequencies (or densities) no longer are comfortable for us.  They are too slow.  They rise to the surface of our consciousness just like fat rises to the surface of a pot of stew, having been cooked out of the meat.

This is one of the major reasons why so many people are having challenges today.  Old “issues” are in our faces because they no longer fit who we are becoming.  An excellent article on ascension symptoms is at http://www.selftransform.net/Ascension_Symptoms.htm and you can also search the internet and find many more. 

The important thing to remember about these symptoms is that, while they may appear at first to be symptoms of known medical problems, they are not the same thing at all.  When checked out by medical doctors, many people find that the doctors don’t have a clue as to what is going on or how to help them.  If you or a family member have this experience, it is a good time to remember that what may be going on is the mind and body letting go of old stuff.

Because these symptoms are caused by higher frequencies being integrated into the body, some form of alternative energy healing might be more helpful than allopathic medicine.  So after your doctor tells you that s/he has no idea how to treat you, I suggest you explore an alternative approach. 

According to the Kryon teachings, energy medicines are the medicines of our immediate future.  This aligns with the situation we are in now, where the biggest changes we are going through are really shifts in vibrational frequency at all levels of our being. 

You can ask to be guided to what you need to help you through this transition.  Or, perhaps, you are already awake enough to check in with your intuition (the messges from your own higher self) to seek out what you need to heal. 

I once made a list of all the alternative healing practitioners I knew and respected because I needed help with a particular problem.  I was going to use a pendulum to help me determine who to call, but before I could even work my way down the list, the name of the person I needed to see jumped right out at me.  My intuition was correct and I got the help I needed.